yes, i am officially freaking out... i'm shaking...

youth group on wednesday made me cry, going last night to see sherrin made me cry... and this morning i went to go visit band camp. i haven't cried yet, but i think i'm going to.

don't get me wrong... i WANT to leave for school... but it's so close now... i don't want to leave this new relationship, i think i need him and he needs me and i'm going to cry again tonite, and probably tomorrow and probably sunday morning as well. Jared's coming over this afternoon so we can watch the rest of those movies that we started yesterday. and i really hope that he calls sooner than the 12:00 that he said he would... actually, i think i told him to call at 11:00 and it's after 11:00... i really hope he calls soon 'cause i want someone to hold me right now before i start crying again...

i'm just leaving for school... at least thats what i keep telling myself.. but that's not it... i'm leaving my friends, my family, my church, my band... my life. it's a little un-nerving, all my life i've been saying that i want out of this crappy little town, but these past few weeks i've realised how not-so-crappy this little town really is... *shrug* i can see how people get sucked back in. it's a friggin black hole.

and i'm going to miss it.

damnit.

this sucks.

and i got a new rat, he's a fawn colour, i named him Dilbert, he has pink eyes. hopefully mom'll find the time to play with him.

but mom wants to write, so i'm going to get off of the computer now and wait for jared to call...

this is crazy!

later all!

<>< Julianne

bye bye diaryland - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
shit - Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2004
my eye hurts - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2004
no phone, no internet - Sunday, Aug. 22, 2004
wtf mate? - Sunday, Aug. 08, 2004