but those aren't quite so simple as bored broke and no car.... problems with my family, my friends.... then theres the issue thats constantly in the back of my mind, which is too complicated to write here.

i feel spread to thin, at least my emotions. I feel like i'm putting more into things than im getting back. First theres this whole job hunt thing, i've been at it a week and i finally get an interview today.... it's just frustrating that theres no one hiring! yeah.... then theres my family, my mom and dad are trying to treat me like an adult or something, but they're being very.... i don't know.... i haven't gotten in any fights with my parents lately because the only person i've really been fighting with is kristin.

and that seems to be my biggest problem right now. she's just being so bitchy all of the time. basically she takes everything that anyone says or does as a personal insult towards her. i mean, i've tried very hard to be nice to hjer, i set up her computer for her, i helped her move it (and she still hasn't taped those cables together like she said she would....) and i've tried compromising on the car by asking her in advance when she needs the car and how long she needs it and what time i need to be back so that she can have the car when she needs it and she still is acing like this! it's just so frickin frustrating.

then theres my friends.... i've lost a lot of phone numbers and i've lost contact with a few people during the past 9 months. but i'm home now, and i'm seeing them around town. even amy, who knows i'm home, who knows my phone number, she's forgetting, not thinking, and even she's not inviting me to things. jeremy and ben and all of them, i can forgive, they haven't ajusted to the fact that i'm home yet and they keep forgetting.... but amy has no excuse! so i end up staying here bored and not doing anything, which is just making everything else so frustrating.... maybe it's because i always used to do a lot of the planning but now i'm not... apparantly jessica does all the planning now, and i'm not really good friends with her and so its annoying that i don't et invited to stuff.... yeah, i'm rambling, i do that sometimes, i do that a lot... right now what i really actually want to do is get a job, pay for insurance, pay for gas and all that fun stuff and get away for awhile, go visit pullman maybe? but if i went there to visit larry and while i was there i went to see jim for awhile, he would get very very mad.... and thats annoying because jim is my friend.... and i think i've talked to jim every day since i've left, either online or on the phone, and larry? well, every time i call him he's got friends over.... he's called me once. yesterday kristin decided it was a great idea to point this out to me. "wait, i thought you were with larry?" "i'm not with anyone.... but if it was anyone it would be larry yes" "then why is jim calling you and not larry?" "thats a good question.... and i don't know why" i wish i did... 'cause i miss him. so now i'm sitting here, larry told me last night that he would call me tonight, but odds are that he wont.... he's forgotten whern he said that he was going to call me before, or decided that it was too late.... maybe i need to tell him that for him, it's okay to call after nine, as long as it's before 10....

i just hope i get that job tomorrow... right now i'm going to go watch the daily show... later all.

<>< Julianne

bye bye diaryland - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
shit - Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2004
my eye hurts - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2004
no phone, no internet - Sunday, Aug. 22, 2004
wtf mate? - Sunday, Aug. 08, 2004