however there is a mild dose of old drama.... well, not exactly.

does anyone else ever feel like htey're being pulled in too many different directions? and it's not different people that are pulling me in these directions, it's myself... there are so many different possibilities and options that i want to explore, but some options mean that others can't happen... i'm feeling like theres too much to think about, and if i ignore it it'll go away... but it doesn't just go away, nothing goes away. things have to be dealt with and figured out. i wish that things just went away if you ignored them.... the problem is that i don't want these things to go away, i just want them to be dealt with. unfortunatly i don't want to be the on to have to deal with them. Right now i feel like if i choose one option, one of the many possibilities that are in front of me, i will be wondering two, three, six (12, 42 96....) months down the road what could have been.... and do i want to leave myself wondering that in the future? do i want to choose one thing, basically choosing to forget every other option, to discover three months, four months from now that it wasn't what i really wanted at all? and at that point will what i really want not be an option anymore? am i just babbling incoherantly? yes... but thats normal.

it's been raining here the past few days.... thunderstorms. its so fun to play in thunderstorms :)

rain feels good on my face.... but it's still cold rain, i want that nice good august thunderstorm where the rain is warm and the wind feels good. i also want to make out in the rain :) yeah yeah, i know i know...

job hunt still not going well, no one is hiring :( blah.... something'll come through pretty soon.... it has to. well, i think that is enough babbling for one entry... sign the guestbook if you read this whole thing and you'll get a cookie :) or some other form of reward if a cookie is unavailable (and you are a certain person)... but most likely a cookie if you're not that lucky person... ;)

<>< Julianne

bye bye diaryland - Monday, Nov. 08, 2004
shit - Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2004
my eye hurts - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2004
no phone, no internet - Sunday, Aug. 22, 2004
wtf mate? - Sunday, Aug. 08, 2004